slightly left of center thoughts

September 17, 2006 11:45 p.m.

Now is my first encounter with a direct threat to my security and safety. I am always proud that I’ve never been held-up, nor ever been victimized by a snatcher or any other hoodlums lurking in the shadows waiting to prowl on innocent preys. Yes, I’ve never felt the fear and the trauma associated with those experiences. But tonight, after a burglar shook the security in our house, I must say that it felt like a worst nightmare coming true.

Everything happened so fast. All I can remember is my brother shouting and heading for the door, and me being jolted from my friendly chitchat with my friends at YM and likewise heading for the door to prevent my brother from opening it. It all happened so fast. Then I remembered my mom and dad going out of their room with their feathers all ruffled. My dad, being the primary male in the house, was acting aggressive and was trying to open our kitchen door. My mom, well ma, was definitely panicky and nervous. I guess I was the only one who remained calm amidst all the events. I was the one who thought of contacting Melody, my friend and the daughter of the chief security officer in our compound, as if the security officers in our place is of any good at all.

We were all panicky and our neighbors did not even have a clue. I almost had that urge to shout “Magnanakaw!!!” just like in the movies… The feeling was indescribable. It was the only time that I felt totally, totally, totally protective of my family and my home. After which, real anger coursed through my veins, like as if I want all the criminals here on earth dead on the spot. How many more houses, families and individuals are being victimized right this very moment by people who have nothing to offer to the world but misery, fear and losses? They deserve to be punished — and punished really hard!

I always witness crime and death in the news, but all those things were just mere information for me back then. Some things that happen to other people. Before, being victimized was a remote fact, and I felt some kind of invincible. Only now did I realize the reality of it all. It shook me up and gave me my first taste of distrust and the genuine feel of evilness all around us. Yes, it made me acutely aware that bad people certainly do exist — and acutely aware of my vulnerability.

It was just a frustrated-robbery case, we did not even see the face of our assailant/s, and nothing has been lost except for my brother’s smelly pants, yet it was real. Now I’m imagining how it was like for those who had actually seen true evil in the eye, those who had really felt being assailed, attacked and touched by their assaulters, those who were truly victimized, those who had lost a loved one and those who had lost everything. How much more pain, anger and fear had they felt during those situations? And even more, how much helplessness?

~ by frozenmocha on September 17, 2006.